Please help me...depression?

call your health insurance company and ask for a referral to a mental health professional. They can really help you and they don't have a vested interest in your problems or take sides like a friend might. They your friends don't even have to know you are talking to anyone until you are ready to tell them. I think it will surprise you the number of people that struggle with depression, you friends may be going thru the same thing and are afraid to talk to anyone also.